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How to Determine When We Are In A Recession From Your Neighbors

By: Steve Johnson

7/22/2008 - 93 Comments

The government may not be ready to say that we are officially in a recession, but strange behavior in your neighborhood is sure to give it away.

We are not officially in a recession until we have two quarters of negative economic growth in a row.  Growth is determined by subtracting inflation from positive GDP. So far the government has been able to say that we are not in a recession by using a very low inflationary number, but it is getting harder and harder to hid inflation. It’s like hiding the cookie jar from a five year old – eventually they will find it.

Here are a few strange behaviors that you can use to determine when we are in a recession.

You will know we are in a recession when your neighbor;

1. Is not going on vacation this summer
2. Is having a garage sale twice this year
3. Is collecting aluminum cans from each neighbors recycling bin in the early morning on garbage day
4. Is in foreclosure but hasn’t moved out yet
5. Sends their dog to your house to beg for food
6. Sends their kids to your house to beg for food
7. Is stealing tomatoes from your garden
8. Is not using their $4000 sprinkler system to water their grass
9. Is ciphering gas from his 4-wheeler to put into his car
10. Asks you to splice into your TV cable or Internet cable and run a line to the back of his house
11. Keeps trying to sell you his boat
12. Asks you to car pool with him, by driving him to work and back everyday
13. Puts up a clothes line
14. Comes over for another beer everyday of the week
15. Is watering his flowers by collecting rain water

This is of course just meant for fun and I do not intend to offend anyone. Have you noticed any of these behaviors around your neighborhood? How about you? Have you found yourself doing any of these behaviors? I know my brother likes to steal tomatoes from my garden and I find myself returning to his house for a cold beer.

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